Isaac and Rebekah

Many of us have experienced what we perceive as favoritism in the workplace. We’ve seen someone being treated as the “teacher’s pet.” Favoritism can also be seen in the family. While we may give lip service to loving everyone equally, it’s easy to show a preference for the child, grandchild, or parent who shares the same interests, does what is expected, or even shows a favoritism toward you. But needs-meeting-love should be without favoritism within the family. 

Having and acting upon "family favorites" can lead to family dysfunction.  Forty percent of those raised with siblings believed their parents had a favorite child. Those raised in families where their parents had a favorite child felt lonelier and less connected to their siblings. Those who perceived parental favoritism were far less likely to seek support from a family member, particularly a parent, when they had a problem. Finally, those who reported their parents had a favorite child were much more likely to be estranged from a family member as an adult. 

Based on these observations it is safe to conclude that some 40% of all families that have siblings have siblings that feel lonelier and less connected to their other siblings, were less likely to seek support from the family, and were more likely to be estranged from the family as an adult.

Q: Why do you think that family favoritism has such a result?

In the Bible James 2:8-9 says:

"Indeed, if you fulfill the royal law prescribed in the Scripture, Love your neighbor as yourself, you are doing well. If, however, you show favoritism, you commit sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors."

In other words, If you practice agape love you've got the right idea. If you limit yourself to any other type of love and give preference to "favored" people you have missed the point and are already breaking God's law. 

Q: Why is unselfish, needs-meeting, agape love more Godly than selfish, desire-meeting love of any other kind?

This study gives us a biblical example of how favoritism works in a family, and how such favoritism can "run in the family." We continue to look at Abram's family, this time looking at Isaac's and his family. We seen in Genesis chapter 15 the Lord reaffirmed His commitment to Abram in a covenant-making procedure. In chapter 17 the Lord changed Abram’s name to Abraham and initiated circumcision as the sign of the covenant. At ninety years of age, Sarah gave birth to the promised son Isaac. Chapter 22 records the near sacrifice of Isaac. Chapter 23 reports Sarah’s death and burial. After Sarah’s death, Abraham sent a trusted servant back to family relatives to find a wife for Isaac. Rebekah willingly returned with the servant and became Isaac’s wife in chapter 24. In chapter 25 Rebekah gives birth to twins, Jacob and Esau.  In this study we look in Genesis 25:24-28; 27:5-13, as we look at an overt act of favoritism and learn of its effects.

Genesis 25:24-28 

24 When her time came to give birth, there were indeed twins in her womb. 25 The first one came out red-looking, covered with hair like a fur coat, and they named him Esau. 26 After this, his brother came out grasping Esau’s heel with his hand. So he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when they were born. 27 When the boys grew up, Esau became an expert hunter, an outdoorsman, but Jacob was a quiet man who stayed at home. 28 Isaac loved Esau because he had a taste for wild game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Obviously not identical twins Esau and Isaac were two distinct, and different individuals. Here we learn that Esau was an avid outdoorsman while Jacob was a quiet man who was a "homebody." We also have the statement that Isaac favored Esau for his "manliness", while Rebekah favored Jacob for his "homesteadness." They each judged their sons based upon their external qualities.

Isaac and Rebekah named the first twin born Esau.  From his lineage the Edomites descended.

Edom derives from a Hebrew word that means “red” or “ruddy.” The name also is associated with the red stew Jacob gave to Esau in exchange for Esau’s birthright.  But the author of Genesis, Moses, associated the word with the Hebrew word for “hair” or “hairy” because Esau was covered in "hair like a fur coat." 

The Hebrew word Seir means "hairy mountain" and refers to both the mountain range and the land running the length of biblical Edom. The region was occupied by the Edomites, descendants of Esau. Seir was a mountain settled by the Horites, of which we first hear in the War of Four Against Five Kings where the Horites of Mount Seir were defeated by the tetrad alliance of Mesopotamian kings. The region around Mount Seir was simply known as Seir or the land of Seir, but YHWH "destroyed" the indigenous Horites Deuteronomy 2 reports.  Esau settled in Seir, which then became known as Edom. Moses reports that Seir was a dwelling place of YHWH. The Herods were descended from the Edomites. 

So Esau was "a red-headed mountain man" so to speak.  But his brother was quite different. Jacob emerged from Rebekah’s womb grasping Esau’s heel. The Hebrew verb conveys the basic idea of “taking hold of.” It sometimes has the violent connotation of “seizing.” The sense here is that of firmly gripping. 

Heel is used symbolically elsewhere in the Old Testament to indicate a trusted friend’s deception. The picture of Jacob at birth is that of his firmly latching onto Esau’s heel in an attempt to supersede him. The sound of the Hebrew word translated Jacob is a play on the Hebrew words for “heel” and “cheated”. The name derives from a verb meaning “to take by the heel” or “to supplant.” Jacob lived up to this name in his dealings with Esau and Laban. However, in his later wrestling and prevailing with God, his name was changed to Israel. Through his encounter with the divine messenger, Jacob learned that we prevail with God by yielding to God.

Jacob is described as quiet. Among its varied meanings are “complete, perfect, wholesome, ordinary, sound, plain, upright, quiet” and “having integrity.” As a schemer and cheater, Jacob at times definitely contradicted this description. A Hebrew professor once defined the term’s meaning as “one whose life revolves around a single center.” Jacob’s life fit this definition. His focus initially revolved around himself. Ultimately, however, his life came to center on the Lord. 

Like our English word, the Hebrew verb rendered loved ranges in intensity from the Lord’s infinite love for His people to the sensual appetites of a lazy glutton. The term can describe love between human beings, including father and son or husband and wife. It also can designate love for things, good and bad, such as Isaac’s love for delicious food, a greedy individual’s love for wealth, a love for God’s commandments, and a love for evil. The Hebrew term in Genesis 25:28 differs from the word designating the Lord’s covenant love for His people. In the case of Isaac and Rebekah, each showed a strong preference toward one of their sons. Isaac favored Esau, while Rebekah favored Jacob.

Isaac and Rebekah played favorites with their sons. While there’s no harm in having more in common with one child, favoritism is a choice to neglect the other child or children. 

Next we look as the intrigue that this circumstance led to.

Genesis 27:5-10 

5 Now Rebekah was listening to what Isaac said to his son Esau. So while Esau went to the field to hunt some game to bring in, 6 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Listen! I heard your father talking with your brother Esau. He said, 7 ‘Bring me game and make a delicious meal for me to eat so that I can bless you in the Lord’s presence before I die.’ 8 Now, my son, listen to me and do what I tell you. 9 Go to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, and I will make them into a delicious meal for your father—the kind he loves.10 Then take it to your father to eat so that he may bless you before he dies.”

Here we see that not only can favoritism have an adverse effect on children but it can lead parents to make irrational and ungodly decisions. Scripture records Jacob’s barter with Esau for his birthright, and the initial verses of chapter 27 introduce Isaac’s plan to bless Esau. 

Isaac told Esau of his plans to give the patriarchal blessing to Esau formally conferring the right to rule over the clan following the patriarch's death. In effect Isaac was telling Esau look, I want YOU to be the ruler over the clan after my death. Go and get some game and make my favorite meal, we'll have a supper and then I will confer the blessing upon you. Although these verses suggest Isaac’s nearness to death, he may have lived many more years. Observe that verse 5 identifies Esau as “his [Isaac’s] son,” while verse 6 describes Jacob as “her [Rebekah’s] son.” Parental favoritism with its attending conflict become clearly evident.

After listening to this exchange, Rebekah took action to ensure Jacob received the blessing of the firstborn rather than Esau. With Esau away hunting game, Rebekah felt free to manipulate the situation in her favorite son’s favor. Because Esau had emerged from the womb before his twin, he was regarded as the elder son who would receive the blessing. The blessing was closely linked with the birthright that also belonged to the firstborn male child. The birthright was the special privileges that belonged to the firstborn male child in a family. Prominent among those privileges was a double portion of the estate as an inheritance. If a man had two sons, his estate would be divided into three portions and the older son should receive two; if three sons, the estate would be divided into four and the eldest would receive two. 

Esau had forfeited his birthright to his brother for the sake of a meal of “chili and cornbread” (bean stew and bread). Rebekah emphasized the need for Jacob to follow her instructions by admonishing Isaac to “listen to me” and “do what I tell you.” She added the phrase in the Lord's presence when she repeated to Jacob the words Isaac had spoken to Esau. This phrase stressed the religious significance of the matter and added gravity to it. The phrase utilizes the covenant name Yahweh. 

When Isaac promised he would give Esau his blessing. Rebekah plotted to trick her husband into giving this family blessing to Jacob instead of Isaac. To lose this blessing was on par with being cursed. With meticulous cunning, she devised an unthinkable scheme for a mother to commit. She betrayed both her husband and her firstborn.  It was Rebekah's idea and desire.

 

Let's see what Jacob thought of the scheme.

Genesis 27:11-13 

11 Jacob answered Rebekah his mother, “Look, my brother Esau is a hairy man, but I am a man with smooth skin. 12 Suppose my father touches me. Then I will be revealed to him as a deceiver and bring a curse rather than a blessing on myself.” 13 His mother said to him, “Your curse be on me, my son. Just obey me and go get them for me.”

Jacob revealed to his mother his wariness of her scheme for him to substitute for Esau while Esau was hunting game. Although Isaac was nearly blind, he could still engage his other senses. Therefore Rebekah and Jacob employed at least five different methods to deceive Isaac. They covered Jacob’s smooth skin with goat hair so it would feel like Esau’s. Rebekah prepared a delicious meal that she knew Isaac would love. Jacob donned Esau’s garments in order to smell like his twin. Jacob also brought Isaac wine to drink, which may have impaired Isaac’s judgment. Finally Jacob repeatedly declared that he was Esau.

Even though Jacob had "legally purchased" Esau's birthright Rebekah felt the need to deceive Jacob into instilling the blessing on Jacob rather than Esau. The Hebrew term for deceiver appears rarely in the Old Testament—occurring only twice. Jacob feared that Isaac would think Jacob was deceiving his father if Jacob pretended to be Esau.  Jacob admitted the obvious irony if the deceptive plan should fall through. The main emphasis in the Hebrew term rendered curse is on the absence or reversal of a blessed or rightful state and a lowering to a lesser state. In other words, instead of a double portion he might receive something less than a single portion of his inheritance.

Proverbs 26:2 reveals that for a word of blessing or cursing to be effective it must be appropriate and divinely sanctioned. Isaac's blessing requested from God that:

May God give to you—from the dew of the sky and from the richness of the land—an abundance of grain and new wine. ... May peoples serve you and nations bow in homage to you. Be master over your relatives; may your mother’s sons bow in homage to you. Those who curse you will be cursed, and those who bless you will be blessed.

While Esau notes "He took my birthright, and look, now he has taken my blessing.” Then he asked, “Haven’t you saved a blessing for me?” But Isaac couldn't very well make BOTH brothers master of the clan. So Isaac’s blessing of Jacob was not irrevocable because it had already been spoken, but rather because it had clearly been ordained by the Lord and could not be duplicated.

Rebekah had invoked the curse, a lessening of status, upon herself, but a curse of an unexpected kind resulted for both Rebekah and Jacob. Because of their scheme, Jacob had to leave home to avoid Esau’s wrath. After reaching Paddan-aram, Jacob worked twenty years for his uncle Laban before returning to the promised land of Canaan. The Scripture gives no indication that Rebekah ever saw her favorite son again.

It is never right to do wrong.  Even though Rebekah was willing to assume responsibility, she could not protect Jacob from his consequences.  Consider the fallout caused by the parental favoritism of Isaac and Rebekah. A husband and wife know they cannot trust each other for the rest of their days. Twin brothers are forever enemies. Rebekah loses both sons, as Esau has lost all his trust in his mother, and Jacob will now run away for fear of his life. Rebekah's favoritism ripped apart her entire family.

We learn from Isaac and Rebekah that favoritism divides rather than unites. 

Rebekah is not a positive example for us. Hers is all an example of what not to do. As Christians we are not to give in to the fleshly ways of deceiving and manipulation in any relationship of our lives.