Song of Solomon: Week 7 The Art of Conflict, Part 1

About 25% of the book of Solomon deals with sex and about 25% deals with conflict.  Coming on the heels of the Art of Intimacy, the art of conflict deals with perhaps the most important aspect of any relationship–fighting.  “All couples fight; good couples fight clean and bad couples fight dirty.”  We will learn the difference between the two in this section.

Song of Solomon chapter 5: 1-9; 6: 1-13

“I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh along with my balsam.  I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.  Eat, friends; Drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers.”

2 “I was asleep but my heart was awake. A voice! My beloved was knocking: ‘Open to me, my sister, my darling, My dove, my perfect one! For my head is drenched with dew,  My locks with the damp of the night.’ 

3 “I have taken off my dress, How can I put it on again? I have washed my feet, How can I dirty them again? 4 “My beloved extended his hand through the opening, And my feelings were aroused for him. 5 “I arose to open to my beloved; And my hands dripped with myrrh, And my fingers with liquid myrrh, On the handles of the bolt. 6 “I opened to my beloved, But my beloved had turned away and had gone!

My heart went out to him as he spoke.  I searched for him but I did not find him; I called him but he did not answer me.

7 “The watchmen who make the rounds in the city found me,  They struck me and wounded me;  The guardsmen of the walls took away my shawl from me.8 “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, If you find my beloved, As to what you will tell him: For I am lovesick.”

9 “What kind of beloved is your beloved, O most beautiful among women? What kind of beloved is your beloved,

That thus you adjure us?”  “Where has your beloved gone, O most beautiful among women? Where has your beloved turned, That we may seek him with you?”

2 “My beloved has gone down to his garden,  To the beds of balsam, To pasture his flock in the gardens

And gather lilies.  3 “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, He who pastures his flock among the lilies.”

4 “ You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,  As lovely as Jerusalem, As awesome as an army with banners.

5 “Turn your eyes away from me, For they have confused me; Your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Gilead. 6 “Your teeth are like a flock of ewes Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins,

And not one among them has lost her young. 7 “Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate Behind your veil.

8 “There are sixty queens and eighty concubines, And maidens without number; 9 But my dove, my perfect one, is unique:  She is her mother’s only daughter;  She is the pure child of the one who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed, The queens and the concubines also, and they praised her, saying, 10  ‘Who is this that grows like the dawn,As beautiful as the full moon, As pure as the sun, As awesome as an army with banners?’

11 “I went down to the orchard of nut trees To see the blossoms of the valley, To see whether the vine had budded Or the pomegranates had bloomed.  12 “Before I was aware, my soul set me Over the chariots of my noble people.”

13 “Come back, come back, O Shulammite; Come back, come back, that we may gaze at you!”  “Why should you gaze at the Shulammite,As at the dance of the two companies?

1) Conflict is ___% of the book.  This is prophetic, since marriage is about ___% of conflict.

2) What is exposed when “bad couples” conflict?  What is exposed when “good couples” conflict?

3) What does the word “meanness” mean?

4) what is meant by calling the woman the “weaker vessel”?

5) It is the ______ ______ job to change my partner, not mine.

Key thought

“Every couple fights!  Do you press for victory or for a resolution?”

Memory Verse

“…not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.”